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All the Latest in Religion
Marjorie Taylor Greene Proposes Bible as Official U.S. ID, Cites ‘Mark of the Right’
Congress flirts with identity by scripture. TSA tests verse scanners. Meanwhile the DMV adds a Commandments quiz and a pop-up burning bush display that fails the fire code but passes the vibes test.
White House Clarifies: ‘Being a Child Predator Not Ideal, But At Least He’s Not Woke’
Trump’s faith adviser pleads guilty to child sex abuse, but MAGA officials assure the public he’s “morally superior to anyone who’s read a sociology textbook.”
Woman Says She Found Heaven at Buc-ee’s, Pastor Not Sure He Can Compete with 120 Gas Pumps
A Texas woman claims she found heaven at Buc-ee’s, triggering a church attendance collapse and a crisis of faith over beef jerky and clean restrooms.
Faith Office Lunch Derails After Trump Declares Himself New Apostle
Trump shocked religious leaders at a White House luncheon by proclaiming himself the 13th Apostle, calling Judas “a weak closer” and referencing $1.95 gas during prayer.
Joel Osteen Admits Prayer Doesn’t Work, But Still Recommends You Pay Him to Do It Anyway
Pastor Joel Osteen admits prayer doesn’t work but still encourages followers to tithe generously — now offering miracle subscription tiers and monogrammed faith pillows.
JD Vance to Attend Pope Leo XIV’s First Mass, Promises Not to Kill Him
JD Vance is heading to the Vatican for Pope Leo XIV’s first mass. He claims he’s coming in peace. Rome is lighting extra candles anyway.
Da Pope Adds Walter Payton Fathead to Papal Quarters, Declares Bears “God’s Team”
Pope Leo XIV has customized his quarters with a Walter Payton Fathead, Da Bears posters, and a side of Midwestern reverence. Heaven, meet Soldier Field.
First American Pope to Go by “Da Pope,” Chicago Celebrates with Deep Dish and Italian Beef
Chicago-born Robert Prevost becomes Pope Leo XIV, but his hometown isn’t waiting for formalities. He’s Da Pope now and the deep dish is holy.
Trump Furious New Pope Stole Spotlight from “YUGE” UK Trade Deal Announcement
Trump’s long-awaited UK trade deal was upstaged by white smoke from the Vatican announcing a new pope. He’s not taking it well.
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