MAGA Turns on Trump After Discovering B2 Pilot Had Ovaries
MAGA nation’s enthusiasm for Trump’s Iran strike vanished when they learned the B2 pilot wasn’t a man, causing mass confusion and accusations of…
Hormuz Closed for ‘Spiritual Renovations,’ Say Iranian Clerics
Iran has closed the Strait of Hormuz, claiming it needs a “spiritual renovation.” Clerics say too much Western oil has disrupted the waterway’s…
Trump Drops Bombs, Then Announces “Now Is The Time For Peace” Like A Toddler With A Band‑Aid
Trump dropped bombs on Iran’s nuclear sites, then took to Truth Social to tell everyone “NOW IS THE TIME FOR PEACE.” The U.S.…
Tulsi Gabbard Reverses Stance on Iran Nukes After Trump Criticism, Cites “Fresh Intelligence”
After previously saying Iran wasn’t building nuclear weapons, Tulsi Gabbard now says they could be just weeks away. What changed? Apparently Trump’s opinion,…
Melania MEME Coin Terms Accidentally Reveal Deep State, Copyright Policy
The Melania MEME Coin terms and conditions are a masterpiece of patriotic legalese that warns users the coin does nothing, fixes nothing, and…
Mace Accuses Jacobs of Cheekbone Witchcraft, Demands C-SPAN Ban
Rep. Nancy Mace suspects Rep. Sara Jacobs of using supernatural means to maintain flawless cheekbones. A formal contour audit may follow.…
Man Who Golfs Four Days a Week Furious That Americans Might Get a Day Off
President Trump says Americans need fewer holidays as he golfs four days a week and blames bunker sand for national decline.…
Taco Trump Strikes Again, But This Time on a Thursday and If the US Should Bomb Iran or Not
President Trump signals possible military action but delays final decision until after a few rallies, some tacos, and a weekend of golf diplomacy…
MAGA Influencers Accuse Juneteenth of Grooming the Calendar
MAGA influencers claim Juneteenth is “grooming” the American calendar and confusing patriotic priorities. Some propose moving it to February or replacing it with…
Trump Tells Cruz and Tucker to Stop Fighting Because It’s Taking Attention Away from His Flagpole
Donald Trump intervened in the Cruz-Carlson feud this week, upset that their argument outshined his latest flag-raising ceremony. “All attention should be pointed…
