Senator Josh Hawley’s proposed $600 tariff rebate checks spark confusion, joy, and a new economy based entirely on Trump-themed bullion.
Trump claims victory over the Deep State and replaces it with something murkier, crawlier, and slightly damper — the Deeper State.
Trump blames wind turbines for causing tornadoes, migraines, and “atmospheric disrespect,” promises to return to energy sources that don’t “spin or swirl.”
Joe Rogan throws his weight behind Hunter Biden for 2028, calling him scandal-proof and “America’s most transparent crack philosopher.”
Trump lands in Scotland to escape Epstein questions and discuss golf cart tariffs with confused EU officials.
Congress moves to ban hemp products after discovering they relieve stress without major lobbying.
During a visit to the Fed headquarters, Trump questioned the cost of a staircase and demanded Jerome Powell explain its financial conduct.
The Trump White House has labeled “South Park” a “leftist terror cell” after a brutal season premiere and filed a $5 billion lawsuit seeking both cash and Satanic conjugal rights.
Tulsi Gabbard has referred Obama to the DOJ for allegedly creating the Russia collusion narrative before it happened. Trump celebrated with a deepfake and a dance.
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