Republicans now claim Donald Trump’s secret FBI codename was “Big Mac,” and his undercover Epstein mission collapsed when he asked for more ketchup.
Stranded fliers hoping for compensation can now count on prayer instead. The administration says spiritual growth is more valuable than sandwiches, though both remain overpriced.
Superman once fought Lex Luthor. Now he’s fighting joint inflammation. Dean Cain’s short-lived ICE career proves that even caped heroes aren’t immune to workplace injuries, paperwork confusion, and the devastating power of gravity.
Trump swears he’s not a dictator, just a man with flawless instincts about martial law, parades, and hamburger diplomacy. He insists it’s “common sense” while aides quietly measure him for a balcony podium.
Nancy Mace’s campaign imploded faster than her own tweets. After boosting a hoax shooter story and speaking to more chairs than people, she announced she may be unfit to run against herself.
Trump claims African-American women begged him to “fix Chicago,” unveiling imaginary red hats as proof of demand. Chicago leaders remain skeptical, but Trump swears the pigeons love it.
Maxwell’s DOJ interview was hyped as explosive. Instead, it played like a canceled Netflix series where Trump walks away spotless.
DHS says painting the border wall black will stop migrants from climbing, but critics point out small flaws: gloves, nighttime, and Mexico not footing the paint bill.
After a tense February exchange, Zelensky uses “gratitude strategy” while staff distract JD Vance with crayons and a fidget spinner.
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