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All the Latest in Politics
Party of Christian Values Confirms: Jesus Would Have Let Him Die
Republicans say Jesus healed the sick for free, but that was before government waste. Now, the faithful must choose between mercy and the MAGA plan.
Is It Racist or Just Republican? Vance Unsure Why AI Sombrero Meme Upset Jeffries
Vance calls Trump’s AI sombrero meme “just a joke” as Jeffries demands respect, proving once again that America’s political discourse now runs entirely on memes and mariachi.
Is It Still a Shutdown If Nothing Worked Anyway?
As midnight looms, Congress debates whether to save the government or just finally unplug it. Democrats proposed funding; Republicans proposed silence.
Hegseth Warns Military to ‘Stay Mission-Focused’ as Government Crumbles Like Biden’s Bike Balance
As the government faces a midnight shutdown, Pete Hegseth tells troops to rely on faith and fitness instead of funding, calling paychecks “optional patriotism.”
Trump Baffled After Learning Bailout for Argentina Somehow Benefits China: ‘Nobody Saw This Coming Except Everyone’
After a leaked text showed his Cabinet questioning the plan, Trump insisted the move was “genius economics.” Experts called it “feeding your rival dessert first.”
Trump Claims Nobel Peace Prize ‘Rigged,’ Says He’ll Make His Own Better One
After years of being ignored by the Nobel Committee, President Trump announces his own “Peace Awards,” promising bigger trophies, better winners, and way more gold leaf.
Trump Declassifies Amelia Earhart Files, Says ‘She Vanished, Just Like Epstein’s Client List’
Trump hails “historic transparency” on a 90-year-old mystery while steering clear of the island where all the questions actually are.
Nancy Mace Says Cory Mills “Stole Valor,” Republicans Shocked Anyone in Party Still Has Honor Left to Steal
Republicans shocked to learn that “stolen valor” accusations require at least some valor to exist. Nancy Mace says Cory Mills’ war stories read like bad fan fiction.
Trump Calls Bondi ‘Careful and Smart,’ Immediately Demands She Throw Out Both Qualities
Trump praised Pam Bondi as “careful” before urging her to toss caution aside and start indicting his rivals at high speed. Evidence optional, applause required.
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