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All the Latest in Politics
Trump Promises to “Fix Chicago,” Starts by Selling Red Hats That Say “Chicago Loves Trump”
Trump claims African-American women begged him to “fix Chicago,” unveiling imaginary red hats as proof of demand. Chicago leaders remain skeptical, but Trump swears the pigeons love it.
Maxwell’s DOJ Interview Released: Reads Like Netflix Pilot That Forgot Its Own Plot
Maxwell’s DOJ interview was hyped as explosive. Instead, it played like a canceled Netflix series where Trump walks away spotless.
New Black Border Wall Expected To Reach 500 Degrees, Finally Gives America World’s Largest Outdoor George Foreman Grill
DHS says painting the border wall black will stop migrants from climbing, but critics point out small flaws: gloves, nighttime, and Mexico not footing the paint bill.
Zelensky Thanks Trump Four Times in a Row Just to Avoid Provoking JD Vance Again
After a tense February exchange, Zelensky uses “gratitude strategy” while staff distract JD Vance with crayons and a fidget spinner.
Trump Vows to End Mail-In Voting, Says America Should “Return to Hand-Carved Wooden Ballots Like the Founders Used”
Trump pushes for ancient voting methods as part of new effort to eliminate mail-in ballots and machines.
Trump Praises Zelensky’s “Very Classy Black Suit,” Says War Could Have Ended Months Ago “If He Dressed Like This Sooner”
Trump says Ukraine war could end with better fashion choices as Zelensky rolls his eyes in the Oval Office.
White House to Smithsonian: ‘Remove Anything That Makes America Look Bad, Like Slavery, Prohibition, or the 2020 Election Results’
The White House orders Smithsonian curators to remove any exhibits that “make America look bad,” including slavery, Prohibition, and the 2020 election results.
Maxwell Approved for Work Release, Immediately Named Director of Youth Outreach at Mar-a-Lago
Ghislaine Maxwell has a work release job as “Director of Youth Outreach” at Mar-a-Lago. Critics say the move shows how power rewrites the rules.
Trump Asks SCOTUS to Approve “Pattern Recognition” in ICE Raids, Claims It’s Like Birdwatching but With Handcuffs
Trump administration asks Supreme Court to allow ICE agents in California to arrest based on clothing, language, or location, calling it “pattern recognition.”
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