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Politics Man Forgets Why He Walked Into Room, Becomes Mayor|Lifestyle Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive|Family Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove|Health Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work|Business Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring|Entertainment Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club|Relationships “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text|Finance Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine|Law Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity|Tech Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS|Science AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview|U.S. Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast|Work Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power|Education Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles|World Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency| Politics Man Forgets Why He Walked Into Room, Becomes Mayor|Lifestyle Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive|Family Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove|Health Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work|Business Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring|Entertainment Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club|Relationships “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text|Finance Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine|Law Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity|Tech Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS|Science AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview|U.S. Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast|Work Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power|Education Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles|World Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency|
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Lifestyle - Page 4

Conservative Outrage Ensues as Female Disney World Worker Wears Pants

Orlando, FL – The happiest place on Earth has become a hotbed of controversy as conservatives find themselves scandalized by a woman daring…

Chick-fil-A Now Serving White Meat and Dark Meat Chicken to Promote Inclusion

Chick-fil-A, the beloved fast-food chain known for its crispy and succulent chicken, has announced a groundbreaking decision that is sure to shake up…

Liberals Introduce Gender-Neutral Term for Boycott: ‘Nonconformity Celebration’

In a stunning display of progressive linguistics, liberals have unveiled a groundbreaking new term to replace the allegedly non-inclusive word “boycott.” The term,…

Conservatives Resort to Potato Sack Couture After Exhausting All Companies to Boycott

Conservatives across the nation have found themselves in a quandary after exhausting their repertoire of companies to boycott. In a bid to express…

Man Buys Speaker to “Bark” Up the Wrong Tree with Neighbors’ Dogs

Mr. David Button, a self-proclaimed dog enthusiast, took matters into his own hands to combat the feeling of exclusion from his canine-owning neighbors.…

Texas Passes Bill to Keep Highways Straight

In a move that has been met with widespread criticism, the Texas legislature has passed a bill that would prevent gay people from…

Witches in Hocus-Panic as Politicians Reference Witch Hunts

In a recent development that has sent shockwaves through the witch community, witches across the United States are reportedly living in fear due…

Feeling insecure about his masculinity, Jordan Peterson calls for boycott of Maybelline

Dylan Mulvaney, the rising American social media influencer, has recently caused controversy with her partnership with New York-based cosmetics company, Maybelline. The 26-year-old…

Dick’s Sporting Goods Renamed “Erectile Tissue Sporting Goods” in Gender-Neutral Rebranding

In a move towards inclusivity, Dick’s Sporting Goods has announced that they will be rebranding their stores as “Erectile Tissue Sporting Goods” to…

Bud Light Sales Delayed Until 4th Inning to Avoid Triggering Snowflake Baseball Fans

In a response to the recent backlash over Bud Light’s “woke” advertising campaign, Major League Baseball teams have started to experiment with a…

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