All the Latest in Lifestyle
Nancy Mace Angry while Sara Jacobs smiles under bright lights
C-SPAN

Mace Accuses Jacobs of Cheekbone Witchcraft, Demands C-SPAN Ban

Rep. Nancy Mace suspects Rep. Sara Jacobs of using supernatural means to maintain flawless cheekbones. A formal contour audit may follow.

4 Min Read
Close-up of a hand holding a black Costco Executive Member card
airport security

Costco Gold Star Members Demand VIP Security Lane at Airports

A nationwide showdown erupted after TSA agents refused to accept Costco cards as legal ID, sending confused Gold Star members into a tailspin and prompting calls for a “Kirkland Lane” at security.

3 Min Read
Aaron Rodgers in a Pittsburgh Steelers uniform pointing during a game
Aaron Rodgers

Steelers Unveil “Enlightened Terrible Towel” as Aaron Rodgers Ushers in New Gridiron Age

Aaron Rodgers reinvents the Terrible Towel, turning Pittsburgh’s playoff run into a spiritual journey involving chakra colors, sage rituals, and towel-based prophecy.

3 Min Read
Simone Biles and Riley Gaines pictured separately as they lead rival social media debates over a high school softball game
Champlin Park

Minnesota High School Wins State Title After Internet Comments Section Decides Game

A Minnesota high school’s softball title was decided by the X comments section, not the scoreboard. Simone Biles and Riley Gaines battled online while the field sat quiet.

4 Min Read
Smiling senior woman in wheelchair shakes hands with a doctor during a checkup, with a nurse standing behind her
aging

Doctor Diagnoses Patient With Chronic ‘Just Getting Old, Sorry’

Doctors everywhere are diagnosing “just getting old.” The only cure? A sense of humor and maybe some ibuprofen.

5 Min Read
Hooters restaurant with its iconic orange sign seen from behind some bushes, as the chain closes 30 locations nationwide due to shifting family dining preferences.
awkward family dinners

Hooters Blames Restaurant Closures On America’s Shrinking Appetite for Awkward Family Dinners

Hooters closes dozens of locations, blaming America’s waning appetite for forced family outings. The chain pivots to a new franchise model and virtual awkwardness, promising spicy wings without the side of social anxiety.

4 Min Read
Woman showering with a bottle of Head & Shoulders Knees & Toes body wash on the shelf.
Body Wash

Head & Shoulders Launches “Knees & Toes” Body Wash

Head & Shoulders shocks the world by launching “Knees & Toes” body wash, raising questions—and eyebrows—about which body part gets a product next.

3 Min Read
Gamers waiting in a long line outside GameStop and T-Mobile stores in lawn chairs during the Nintendo Switch 2 release.
Nintendo

Nintendo Switch 2 Launch Sparks Shortage of Hygiene and Common Sense

Nintendo’s Switch 2 release transforms Rockefeller Center into a gamer’s wildest dream, and New York’s least fresh-smelling landmark.

4 Min Read
Disney characters Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Goofy, and Louis the alligator perform on stage in front of Cinderella Castle at Walt Disney World.
Churro Crimes

7 Surprising Things That Can Get You Kicked Out of Disney Parks

Disney is the land of dreams, until you show up in a turkey leg suit or demand to rule the Mouse Kingdom. Here are the seven wildest ways to get yourself ejected by…

4 Min Read
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