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All the Latest in Lifestyle
Math Professor Confirms You’re More Likely to Be Mauled by a Bear Riding a Shark During a Lightning Storm Than Win Lottery
The Powerball jackpot is nearly a billion, but your odds of winning are lower than being mauled by a bear riding a shark. Statisticians confirm life is basically a cosmic prank show.
Tony Robbins Sues AI Clones for Offering Motivation Without Making You Walk on Fire
Tony Robbins is suing AI bots for offering motivation without a $3,000 seminar or mandatory fire walk, claiming emotional and financial theft.
Retired Man Now Begins Every Day by Fixing Something That Wasn’t Broken
Harold Menzies begins every day by fixing household items that aren't broken. His wife, Marlene, has started hiding tools in self-defense.
Local Man Refuses to Use Self-Checkout, Demands Human Eye Contact
A Midwestern man sparks a checkout standoff after demanding old-school cashier service, emotional validation, and sustained eye contact.
5 Key Signs You’ve Made It to the Lower-Middle Class
New research confirms you’ve officially made it to the lower-middle class if you own a Bluetooth air fryer and spend 17% of your income on flavored seltzers.
Elon Musk’s Family Tree Now Considered National Forest
Elon Musk’s sprawling family has reached federal recognition status, earning its own protected designation as a National Forest.
Disney Denies Ride Entry to Woman in Sports Bra, Husband Banished for Excessive Muscle Tone
A couple’s day at Disney World took a turn when a sports bra sparked a dress code standoff and her husband’s tank top muscles caused additional emotional turbulence.
Shovel Season Starts in June: Midwesterners Psychologically Preparing for Winter Already
When daylight drops and clouds loom, Midwesterners swap iced tea for hot cocoa— even in June — delving into full winter readiness mode.
Minimalist Declares Victory After Finally Owning Nothing but Anxiety
A Brooklyn minimalist has officially downsized his life to nothing but a yoga mat, oat milk, and relentless inner dread. Friends say he’s “aesthetic but hard to dine with.”
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