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All the Latest in Law
Trump to Demand Death Penalty for Child Rapists and Traffickers, But Only After Securing a Pardon for Himself and Distancing from Epstein Ties
Former President Donald Trump is expected to call for the death penalty for child rapists and traffickers. However, in a twist that has left many stunned, Trump reportedly intends to secure a pardon…
New Major Hack Exposes Every American’s Social Security Number, But Nobody Cares Anymore
In what would once have been a headline-grabbing event, a new major hack has compromised every American’s Social Security number, along with physical addresses, from the National Public Data registry. The stolen information,…
Cafeteria Worker Sentenced to 9 Years for Stealing $1.5 Million Worth of Chicken Wings for Ultimate Block Party
A cafeteria worker in Illinois has been sentenced to 9 years in prison after being convicted of stealing $1.5 million worth of chicken wings from a local school district. The worker, whose identity…
Trump to Launch “Covfefe-Scented” Candles to Help Pay Mounting Legal Bills
Former President Donald Trump has announced a new venture aimed at raising funds for his mounting legal bills. In a move that blends nostalgia with necessity, Trump plans to launch a line of…
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson Calls on Master Splinter and the TMNT to Help Curb City Violence
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson has reached out to Master Splinter and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) to assist in curbing the violence plaguing the city. The announcement has captured the public's imagination…
Trump’s Bold New Defense: “I Tried to Off Pence During the Insurrection, But It’s Totally Legal!”
In a revelation that could only be described as the plot of a poorly written political thriller, it's come to light that former President Donald J. Trump allegedly tried to officially kill his…
Steve Bannon’s Press Conference Chaos: Cowbells, Chants, and Anarchy Princess
Steve Bannon’s turn-in to Danbury federal prison on Monday was a cacophony of chaos, complete with cowbells, chants, and the irrepressible Anarchy Princess. Bannon, sentenced to four months for contempt of Congress related…
Donald Trump Requests Trial Venue Change to Judge Judy’s Court for ‘Fair’ Hearing
Washington D.C. - Former President Donald Trump's legal team has submitted an extraordinary request to relocate his ongoing trial in the nation's capital. Their proposal? None other than having the case heard by…
Udder Madness: Ben & Jerry’s Cows File Moo-tion to Stop Milk Theft
Vermont - A group of disgruntled cows owned by the renowned ice cream company, Ben & Jerry's, have filed a lawsuit against the very company they once served. The bovine plaintiffs allege that…
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