In what may be his most attention-grabbing announcement yet, Donald Trump has promised to release Jeffrey Epstein’s infamous client list. The list, believed to contain the names of high-profile individuals who visited Epstein’s…
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A cafeteria worker in Illinois has been sentenced to 9 years in prison after being convicted of stealing $1.5 million worth of chicken wings from a local school district. The worker, whose identity…
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Former President Donald Trump has announced a new venture aimed at raising funds for his mounting legal bills. In a move that blends nostalgia with necessity, Trump plans to launch a line of…
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Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson has reached out to Master Splinter and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) to assist in curbing the violence plaguing the city. The announcement has captured the public’s imagination…
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In a revelation that could only be described as the plot of a poorly written political thriller, it’s come to light that former President Donald J. Trump allegedly tried to officially kill his…
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Steve Bannon’s turn-in to Danbury federal prison on Monday was a cacophony of chaos, complete with cowbells, chants, and the irrepressible Anarchy Princess. Bannon, sentenced to four months for contempt of Congress related…
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Washington D.C. – Former President Donald Trump’s legal team has submitted an extraordinary request to relocate his ongoing trial in the nation’s capital. Their proposal? None other than having the case heard by…
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Vermont – A group of disgruntled cows owned by the renowned ice cream company, Ben & Jerry’s, have filed a lawsuit against the very company they once served. The bovine plaintiffs allege that…
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The United States Supreme Court has made an unexpected decision that requires white women to provide lessons on Karen-esque behavior to their minority counterparts. The ruling, which aims to bridge the gap in…
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A landmark ruling by the Supreme Court has just declared that episodes of the long-running animated series, “The Simpsons,” are now irrefutable evidence in court. The reason? It seems that the show has…
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In an unprecedented move, former President Donald J. Trump has bid adieu to his team of high-powered lawyers and replaced them with a surprise candidate for the top spot: Tom “My Shirt is…
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