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All the Latest in Food
Hegseth Reportedly Tried to Baptize Himself in Santo Tequila, ‘For the Troops’
In a story that blends scripture with spirits, Pete Hegseth faces new scrutiny after an alleged million-dollar tequila “baptism.” Guy Fieri calls it “a faith-based felony.”
After Trump Deports Millions, Modelo Sales Plummet, Michelob Ultra Crowned King of Bland
Trump’s deportations crushed Modelo sales, leaving Michelob Ultra to rule the nation’s beer aisle by being the least offensive option on Earth.
Taco Bell Bottles No Match for Stolen Packets, Scientists Confirm
Bottled Taco Bell sauce may be convenient, but true flavor only comes with the thrill of sneaking ten extra packets into your to-go bag.
Vegan Firefighter’s First Day Involves Extinguishing 40,000 Pounds of Ribeye
A truckload of ribeye steaks went up in flames on a Missouri highway, leaving behind smoke, sorrow, and one traumatized vegan firefighter.
Man Claims to “Love Cooking at Home,” Spends $248 on Ingredients to Make $14 Pasta
Local man spends $248 to make a $14 pasta dish at home, proving once again that cooking can be the most expensive way to eat.
Teenagers Raiding Gas Stations for Spiked Celsius, Unsure if This Is a Recall or a Marketing Campaign
Gas station chaos erupts after teens discover that some Celsius cans are actually spiked with vodka. FDA says it’s a recall. TikTok says it’s a moment.
Snack Wrap Is Back, and This Time It’s Personal
After years of memes, meltdowns, and fast-food fan fury, McDonald’s brings back the Snack Wrap — with spicier options and even spicier consequences.
Taco Bell Trolls Trump with New Meal #47: Three Chicken Tacos in Doritos Shells
Taco Bell’s new Meal #47, featuring three chicken tacos in Doritos shells, is fueling rumors that the brand is trolling Trump over the viral “TACO” acronym: Trump Always Chickens Out.
Trump Defends Tariff Policy, Declares Himself King of Taco Tuesday
Trump dismissed Wall Street’s “TACO” nickname by bragging about his tariffs and launching into a passionate defense of Taco Tuesday, claiming it’s the true taste of freedom.
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