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All the Latest in Business
Pricey Perks of Bidenomics: Grocery Shopping Uncertainty
President Biden's administration has managed to transform the humble act of grocery shopping into a high-stakes adventure reminiscent of a reality TV show. Shoppers across the nation are raving about the exciting twists…
Jerry Seinfeld Relives Classic “Chicken Sign” Episode with Elon Musk’s X-Traordinary Illumination
In a case of life imitating art, comedian Jerry Seinfeld found himself reliving a classic episode of "Seinfeld" with his eccentric neighbor Kramer when a massive, blinding "X" appeared atop Twitter's headquarters in…
Bud Light’s Audacious Strategy: Reviving Core Drinkers By Using The ‘N’ Word
In the wake of the Dylan Mulvaney incident that left Bud Light's reputation hanging by a thread, the renowned beer brand has announced a radical marketing campaign to win back its core drinkers.…
BIDENOMICS “GET RICH SLOWLY” CAMPAIGN – Trillion-Dollar Bills to Be Printed in Invisible Ink
The Biden administration has introduced its latest brainchild - "Bidenomics: Get Rich Slowly." President Joe Biden, flanked by his team of economic advisors, unveiled the master plan at a press conference held on…
Competitive Shoplifting Takes the Gold in San Francisco
San Francisco, CA — Move over, baseball and football – there's a new game in town, and it's taking San Francisco by storm. Shoplifting has become the city's latest and greatest Olympic sport,…
Unemployment Rates Plummet as Multitasking Becomes the Hottest Job Skill
The latest unemployment figures have taken an unexpected nosedive, leaving economists scratching their heads and politicians high-fiving each other. The secret behind this miraculous feat? People taking on not one, not two, but…
Elon Musk Rebrands Twitter as “Qwitter” to Embrace Its New QAnon Overlords
Tech mogul and part-time space enthusiast Elon Musk announced the rebranding of Twitter as "Qwitter" to better align with the growing dominance of QAnon conspiracy theories on the platform. The decision came as…
Nike Leaps into Social Media App with ‘Just Post It’
Beaverton, Oregon - Nike has announced the launch of its very own platform called "Just Post It." With this move, the renowned sportswear giant aims to revolutionize the way athletes communicate, self-promote, and…
Udder Madness: Ben & Jerry’s Cows File Moo-tion to Stop Milk Theft
Vermont - A group of disgruntled cows owned by the renowned ice cream company, Ben & Jerry's, have filed a lawsuit against the very company they once served. The bovine plaintiffs allege that…
