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Business - Page 4

Elon Musk Rebrands Twitter as “Qwitter” to Embrace Its New QAnon Overlords

Tech mogul and part-time space enthusiast Elon Musk announced the rebranding of Twitter as “Qwitter” to better align with the growing dominance of QAnon conspiracy theories on the platform. The decision came as…

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Pricey Perks of Bidenomics: Grocery Shopping Uncertainty

President Biden’s administration has managed to transform the humble act of grocery shopping into a high-stakes adventure reminiscent of a reality TV show. Shoppers across the nation are raving about the exciting twists…

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Jerry Seinfeld Relives Classic “Chicken Sign” Episode with Elon Musk’s X-Traordinary Illumination

In a case of life imitating art, comedian Jerry Seinfeld found himself reliving a classic episode of “Seinfeld” with his eccentric neighbor Kramer when a massive, blinding “X” appeared atop Twitter’s headquarters in…

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Bud Light’s Audacious Strategy: Reviving Core Drinkers By Using The ‘N’ Word

In the wake of the Dylan Mulvaney incident that left Bud Light’s reputation hanging by a thread, the renowned beer brand has announced a radical marketing campaign to win back its core drinkers.…

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BIDENOMICS “GET RICH SLOWLY” CAMPAIGN – Trillion-Dollar Bills to Be Printed in Invisible Ink

The Biden administration has introduced its latest brainchild – “Bidenomics: Get Rich Slowly.” President Joe Biden, flanked by his team of economic advisors, unveiled the master plan at a press conference held on…

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Competitive Shoplifting Takes the Gold in San Francisco

San Francisco, CA — Move over, baseball and football – there’s a new game in town, and it’s taking San Francisco by storm. Shoplifting has become the city’s latest and greatest Olympic sport,…

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Unemployment Rates Plummet as Multitasking Becomes the Hottest Job Skill

The latest unemployment figures have taken an unexpected nosedive, leaving economists scratching their heads and politicians high-fiving each other. The secret behind this miraculous feat? People taking on not one, not two, but…

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Nike Leaps into Social Media App with ‘Just Post It’

Beaverton, Oregon – Nike has announced the launch of its very own platform called “Just Post It.” With this move, the renowned sportswear giant aims to revolutionize the way athletes communicate, self-promote, and…

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Udder Madness: Ben & Jerry’s Cows File Moo-tion to Stop Milk Theft

Vermont – A group of disgruntled cows owned by the renowned ice cream company, Ben & Jerry’s, have filed a lawsuit against the very company they once served. The bovine plaintiffs allege that…

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Overstock.com Rebrands as Bed Bath & Beyond, Industry Experts Expect Déjà Vu Bankruptcy

Overstock.com, a prominent player in the e-commerce industry, has decided to bid farewell to its well-established name and rebrand itself as Bed Bath & Beyond. While many consumers and analysts initially scratched their…

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