Notification
Search
Have an existing account?
Sign In
The Folly Times
939
Hegseth Reportedly Tried to Baptize Himself in Santo Tequila, ‘For the Troops’
In a story that blends scripture with spirits, Pete Hegseth faces new scrutiny after an…
Trump Offers ‘Thoughts and Flares’ After Judge’s Home Burns Down
White House officials say “spontaneous combustion” can occur when freedom meets judicial resistance. Critics call…
RFK Jr. celebrates 1,500 measles cases as “a victory for holistic immune freedom.”
As measles cases climb past 1,500, HHS Secretary RFK Jr. unveils “Catch It to Beat…
Party of Christian Values Confirms: Jesus Would Have Let Him Die
Republicans say Jesus healed the sick for free, but that was before government waste. Now,…
White House Clarifies: ‘Being a Child Predator Not Ideal, But At Least He’s Not Woke’
Trump’s faith adviser pleads guilty to child sex abuse, but MAGA officials assure the public…
Is It Racist or Just Republican? Vance Unsure Why AI Sombrero Meme Upset Jeffries
Vance calls Trump’s AI sombrero meme “just a joke” as Jeffries demands respect, proving once…
Danica Patrick Blasts Bad Bunny: ‘The Only Spanish at the Super Bowl Should Be Doritos’
Danica Patrick called Bad Bunny’s halftime show “a threat to American values,” insisting halftime acts…
Like Trump Steaks, But for Pills: Trump Unveils TrumpRx
Trump introduces TrumpRx, the first prescription plan that promises “300% savings” and includes a free…
Is It Still a Shutdown If Nothing Worked Anyway?
As midnight looms, Congress debates whether to save the government or just finally unplug it.…
Hegseth Warns Military to ‘Stay Mission-Focused’ as Government Crumbles Like Biden’s Bike Balance
As the government faces a midnight shutdown, Pete Hegseth tells troops to rely on faith…
Trump Deploys ICE Boats to Hunt Undocumented Leprechauns in Chicago River
Armed ICE boats storm the Chicago River in search of undocumented leprechauns accused of “unlawful…
Trump Baffled After Learning Bailout for Argentina Somehow Benefits China: ‘Nobody Saw This Coming Except Everyone’
After a leaked text showed his Cabinet questioning the plan, Trump insisted the move was…
Did Rome Fall Like This Too?
When emperors run out of wisdom, they reach for scapegoats. Firing experts, raiding the treasury,…
5 Signs Your Mother Took Tylenol While Pregnant, According to Dr. Trump
President Trump, joined by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., warns Americans that prenatal Tylenol use could…
Trump Claims Nobel Peace Prize ‘Rigged,’ Says He’ll Make His Own Better One
After years of being ignored by the Nobel Committee, President Trump announces his own “Peace…
Wasn’t in the Playbook: Ex-NFL Star Quits FBI After Trump Calls Blitz on Immigrants
The ex-Bears legend says he joined to protect the country, not help the president call…
Trump Declassifies Amelia Earhart Files, Says ‘She Vanished, Just Like Epstein’s Client List’
Trump hails “historic transparency” on a 90-year-old mystery while steering clear of the island where…
Hegseth Summons Generals for Purge Preview, Asks Them to Tremble in Unison
Hegseth trades war planning for strongman theater, summoning hundreds of generals to Virginia for a…
Ryan Walters: “Turning Point USA Will Replace Guidance Counselors, Who Were Woke Anyway”
Walters promises students will no longer be burdened with “woke” counseling, instead finding life guidance…
After Trump Deports Millions, Modelo Sales Plummet, Michelob Ultra Crowned King of Bland
Trump’s deportations crushed Modelo sales, leaving Michelob Ultra to rule the nation’s beer aisle by…
Trump and Musk Reunite at Kirk Memorial, Bond Over Shared Love of Attention
The world’s two most attention-starved men rediscovered their chemistry at a funeral, proving nothing unites…
Nancy Mace Says Cory Mills “Stole Valor,” Republicans Shocked Anyone in Party Still Has Honor Left to Steal
Republicans shocked to learn that “stolen valor” accusations require at least some valor to exist.…
White House Says Autism ‘Solved’ After Trump Suggests Horses Rarely Get It
Trump blames Tylenol for autism, praises horse dewormer as miracle cure, and claims horses prove…
Federal Reserve Cuts Rates, Americans Celebrate by Not Buying Anything Anyway
Wall Street cheered, Main Street yawned. A quarter-point rate cut can’t move a housing market…
UFC Announces White House Fight Night, Finally Makes Idiocracy a Documentary
America is turning its front lawn into a cage fight, complete with McGregor, Trump commentary,…
Trump Calls Bondi ‘Careful and Smart,’ Immediately Demands She Throw Out Both Qualities
Trump praised Pam Bondi as “careful” before urging her to toss caution aside and start…
Trump Tells Press Corps: ‘If Plane Went Down Without Me, Nobody Would Care Anyway’
Trump reminded reporters their survival only matters when it benefits him. His comments came after…
Police Officer Mistakes Sophie Cunningham for Court Intruder, Asks for Ticket Stub
When Sophie Cunningham tried to check on a teammate, she instead got checked by law…
Trump DOJ Shuts Down Probe, Says Accepting Bribes Is Just ‘Extreme Vetting for Cash’
When FBI agents caught Trump’s border czar on tape taking $50,000, the DOJ quickly clarified…
Two Planes of White House Staff Depart for Kirk Funeral, Leaving Government Unsupervised for 48 Hours
Trump’s team is sending two planeloads of staff to Charlie Kirk’s funeral, leaving Washington oddly…
Recent Articles
